Influencing Stakeholders: How Leaders Deliver Without Authority

What helps you get things done in a role with more responsibility than authority?

Visualize your week. Every step needs a yes from someone you don't manage. The C-suite gives you twenty minutes, and the board gives you one slot this quarter. Each of those conversations shapes how they see you.

If this is your week, you may know the feeling that comes with it. You answer for the result, and you can't tell the people it depends on what to do. Every meeting can feel like a test, and it's tempting to work harder and take more of it on yourself.

At a senior level, people expect you to have presence, to be someone others listen to. The first place it shows is in how well you bring people with you. The good news is, you can learn to influence.

People often describe presence as how you hold yourself in a meeting. In a role like this, they also read it in what you did before the meeting: which stakeholders you spoke to, what you understood about their concerns, and whether you listened before you asked.

What nobody at work could see

I coached a leader last year who had a habit of doing it all alone. In her new role, she answered for far more than she controlled. She was leading peers now and facing the C-suite for the first time.

Work was only half of it. She was caring for an ageing parent and travelling most weeks, and she had recently moved into a new home. Some nights, she prepared for board conversations among unopened boxes, and nobody she reported to knew. Even then, her mind was in three other places.

I share this because many leaders I meet have something like those unopened boxes. The people in the boardroom see twenty minutes of you. They don't see what the night before was like, or what you set aside to be there.

Think about your own week. What are you holding that nobody at work can see?

Many of the leaders I work with tell me the same thing, they look after everyone on their team, and they ask nobody to look after them. It often begins as care. They don't want to burden anyone, and they believe a good leader copes.

Often, nobody has asked them to do it all alone. Over time it wears them out, and it leaves them alone in the meetings where they need people on their side.

Where we began

She was hard on herself. She looked after everyone else, so we began by offering her some of the same kindness, and started with what she already did well.

When you walk into a meeting with a list of your own gaps in your head, you tend to over-explain, ask for less than you need and give way at the first objection. When you know what you bring, you can afford to listen.

Small experiments in influencing stakeholders

Then came small experiments. Each one was small enough to try in a week and to adjust the week after.

Talk to peers before the meeting. She started speaking with key peers beforehand, listening first, then bringing them in early. By the time a meeting begins, people have often formed a view. 

A conversation beforehand lets you hear a concern while you can still do something about it. It also lets your peer shape the idea, which gives them a reason to back it.

Be curious about what senior leaders are facing. With senior leaders, she got curious about what was on their plate, and only then asked. A senior leader hears many requests in a day. The ones that get a yes tend to connect to something on that leader's mind, such as a target, a risk or a promise to the board. 

A question such as "What's taking up your attention this quarter?" can show you where your ask fits. I've written about this in Managing Upwards: Leadership Begins With Self-Awareness.

Let your team share the load. She asked her team for the numbers and trends she'd been chasing herself. For someone used to doing it all alone, asking is an experiment in itself. 

It tends to mean you walk into senior conversations with better evidence, and with a team that has a stake in the outcome.

Review, then try again. Each session, we looked at what she'd tried and what she'd attempt next. Influence built like this is a handful of small habits, far less frightening than one big attempt to get everyone to agree.

What changed

She grew more at ease, and more willing to speak up. The people she met one to one started backing her, and peers began bringing her in early.

Boards tend to hear risk before upside, so at her next board presentation, she opened with the risks and her plans, made her case, and let go of the need for a yes.

That last part is the one I come back to. When you need a yes, people can hear the need, and it makes them cautious. When you've done the groundwork and can live with either answer, they hear your case. When you hold the outcome lightly, you're free to listen. 

Wanting the yes too much is often what keeps you from hearing what the other person needs.

Six months in, she was leading projects across teams, and enjoying it.

What I notice is the order. She began to let others in, and her influence grew after that. Nothing a leader gets done is done alone. Once she accepted that, asking for help stopped feeling like weakness.

Reflections

• Where do I have more responsibility than authority?
• What do I see peers who influence well doing?
• What's one conversation I could have before I need something?

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A closing thought

Influencing stakeholders begins in the conversations you have before you need anything. It may start with one peer this week, one question about what they're facing, and the patience to listen before you ask.

Leaders tell me that when they learn to deliver through others, work feels less stressful and more balanced. You don't have to do it all alone, and the people around you may be more willing to help than you expect.

Reach out to explore how coaching can help you build your influence.

What have you seen change when a leader influences well?

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