Rewrite Your Leadership Story: How Self-Awareness Drives Culture and Impact
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Every leader carries a story. Not the polished one on LinkedIn, but the real one—the moments that shaped who they are, how they lead, and what they value.
Often, we inherit leadership beliefs without questioning them. We learn from early role models, corporate cultures, or popular narratives. But not all stories deserve to stay. Some hold us back.
In executive coaching, I often ask, “Whose voice is guiding your leadership?” The answers reveal stories of tough managers, admired mentors, or cultural expectations. These voices can be grounding, or they can be limiting.
The Stories We Carry
Here are five stories many leaders unknowingly carry:
1. The Story of Strength as Silence
“A good leader stays strong.” But what if that strength is mistaken for silence? Leaders who suppress emotion, never ask for help, or feel they must always be composed may miss the chance to connect. Vulnerability is not weakness. It is how trust begins.
2. The Story of Leadership as Control
“If I do not control it, it will fall apart.” This belief often forms in high-pressure roles. But over time, it builds dependency. The team stops thinking for themselves. True leadership comes from building capability, not control.
3. The Story of Feedback as Conflict
Many leaders avoid difficult conversations because they believe feedback breaks relationships. The opposite is often true. When delivered with care, feedback deepens trust. It signals belief in potential and a willingness to invest in growth.
4. The Story of Urgency Over Presence
Busyness becomes a badge of honour. But constant urgency disconnects leaders from their teams. When leaders rush, they miss what is unsaid. Presence begins with slowing down and tuning in.
5. The Story of Success as Solo Achievement
Some leaders believe they must have all the answers. But leadership today is rooted in collaboration. Teams thrive when leaders listen, adapt, and invite others to contribute.
What Stories Are Still Serving You?
Not all stories need to be rewritten. Some anchor you. Others need an upgrade. The key is to bring awareness to the stories you are telling—about leadership, about others, and about yourself.
Ask yourself: What leadership behaviour do I repeat unconsciously? Who did I learn it from? Does it still serve me and my team?
Rewriting the Narrative
Awareness is the first step. Rewriting is the next. This does not mean erasing the past. It means choosing what you want to carry forward.
Try this practice:
- Name the Story: What belief or leadership pattern do you notice?
- Trace the Origin: Where did this story come from? Whose voice is in it?
- Challenge the Logic: Is this story helping or harming?
- Create a New Narrative: What would a wiser, kinder version sound like?
Example: Old story—“I must fix everything myself.” New story—“I trust my team’s ability and support them to succeed.”
This is more than mindset work. It is leadership work.
Your Story Shapes the Culture
As a leader, your story becomes the culture. The way you handle pressure, celebrate wins, or respond to mistakes teaches your team what is acceptable.
If your story is, “There is no room for error,” your team will hide problems. If your story is, “Learning is part of success,” your team will speak up and experiment.
Every day, you have a chance to shape the story your team lives inside.
From Story to Strategy
When coaching leaders, I invite them to turn their stories into conscious strategies. Here is how:
- Story: “I must be strong.”
- Strategy: Share one personal challenge and what helped you through it.
- Story: “I need to stay in control.”
- Strategy: Delegate one high-stakes task and coach through the outcome.
- Story: “I cannot give tough feedback.”
- Strategy: Start with one appreciative truth, followed by one growth-focused insight.
These shifts are not dramatic. They are deliberate.
Reflection for Leaders
If you wish to lead with clarity and choice, consider these prompts:
• What stories shaped my leadership style?
• Which ones do I want to challenge or rewrite?
• How does my leadership story impact the culture around me?
• What small shift in narrative would support a better outcome?
• Who do I want to become as a leader—on my terms?
Final Thought: Rewrite with Intention
The stories we inherit are not our destiny. They are our starting point.
When you lead from a place of choice rather than autopilot, you do more than lead, you evolve. Your growth opens the door for others. And in rewriting your story, you shape theirs too.
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Ready to Lead Your Next Chapter?
If you are ready to shift patterns, deepen impact, and lead with intention, executive coaching can help.
Learn more about my coaching programs or reach out for a conversation.
